


Melted Chocolate, Mass Destruction and Subsequent Expected Disaster.

by stormguard798



Category: Commander Clash, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: First Meetings, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Implied Sexual Content, Insults, M/M, Magic: the Gathering - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 17:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18642823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormguard798/pseuds/stormguard798
Summary: When an unexpected guest shows up as part of the MF London Coverage Team at the last moment, no one is quite sure how much havoc could be caused by putting these two together on the same continent.[Vince/Tomer One-Shot]





	Melted Chocolate, Mass Destruction and Subsequent Expected Disaster.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Christmas Card that Tomer sent Vince on Mailbag Adventures #1, and literally every single Commander Clash with the two of them on together. The feud never ends.
> 
> I've also decided on a ship name of "Pleasant Commander", which is ironic and true at the same time.

"So, everyone, we have a last-minute addition joining us for Written Coverage today," James announced to the rest of the Magic Fest London crew coverage. "Sorry for the short notice, but Craig had to drop out at the very last minute." Seeing the twinge of disappointment on everyone's face, he continued, "Fortunately, we were able to find a willing victim to help us out. He's joining us all the way from Canada, and is probably best known as the writer of the Budget Commander articles on Mtggoldfish. Please welcome Tomer!" Tomer entered from the side, enthusiastically waving to a gentle round of applause. "This is Tomer's first time doing coverage so please help him out if need be." 

Vince immediately perked up in response: he thought that it wouldn't be for at least another while. As Tomer slowly made his way through greeting everyone else, Vince languidly stood up from his seat. As Tomer approached him, he proceeded to embrace Tomer in a tight hug, "Good to see you, you muppet."

"Good to see you too," Tomer replied, friendly and perky despite the long flight. He then freed himself from Vince's arms before casually announcing, "So what is it I'm supposed to be doing again?"

...

Tomer was at the vending machine, his eyes scanning across the glass display, perplexed by the colourful array of bizarre British biscuit names. "Hob Nob? Custard Cream?" Tomer mused to himself. "Are these even words?" Catching a glimpse of a wayward Vince out of the corner of his eye, Tomer gestured him over, "Do you think you can help me pick one out? These chocolate Viennese sandwiches things look good," he noted, pointing his fingers against the glass to indicate as such, "but I have no idea if they are. Care to lend a hand?"

Pointedly ignoring the question just asked, Vince indignantly protested at an expectant Tomer, "How could you not tell me that you were coming here!? Am I really not important to you? Also, yes, they're delicious: hurry up and get two packs," Vince added on hastily. 

Tomer took note of the latter statement dug into his pocket, fumbling to find coins as he inserted them to the machine. "I'm still waiting, Tomer, " Vince said, impatiently tapping his foot against the floor. "As pleasant of a surprise this is, I'm still mad at you."

"Hey, I thought you knew," Tomer replied. He reached down to unearth the biscuits from where they had landed before pressing a pack into Vince's hand, then proceeding to tear open his own. "After all, James mentioned you were the one who said I'd be a great replacement after your previous writer fell ill. Plus, I had to sprint to the airport to catch my flight, so there wasn't any time back in Canada. Though, to be fair, you were probably still asleep," he mused. "I also haven't been able to sort out the insufferable obstacles that are the Wi-Fi here and my electronics yet. I'm here now though. Frankly surprising, considering how long it usually takes for me to pack." He bit into a sandwich and a contented smile blossomed across his face. "This is really good! Good choice Vince," the words coming out muffled through the chewing.

"Obviously. It was a choice I made. But now that you're here..." Vince then proceeded to land a firm punch on Tomer's right arm, causing him to wince in pain. "That's for the Thalia, you bloody monster." Vince then proceeded to unleash a rapid flurry of punches all across Tomer's upper limbs, causing him to shift rapidly from side to side all whilst his face morphed from expressive grimace to grimace. "And the Mom. And the Swords. And the Wisp," Vince slammed, punctuating the end of each sentence with a hard punch. "God Tomer, what in the fresh hell was that?", Vince asked, ending off with a fist from both sides. 

"Geez, you hit really hard," Tomer winced from the aggressive assault. "That's going to bruise, I bet," he noted, lifting up the sleeve of his short to inspect the damage. "I'll have you know that gift took over 2 hours of diligent hole-punching. Really, you should be thanking me for putting in so much effort. Plus, it wasn't cheap. It really may be the best present I've ever gotten anyone," Tomer replied with a proud smile completely unbefitting of what he had actually done.

"That wasn't a present, Tomer; that was a complete massacre!" Vince exclaimed in frustration. "How could you do that to those precious cards? They could have been used to enshrine the next generation of wonderful Death and Taxes players."

Tomer glanced over at Vince, "And you, of all people, are going to tell me that you didn't even find that remotely funny?" They paused for a moment, staring at each other, Tomer maintaining intense eye contact, narrowing his eyes to try and get Vince to yield. 

He eventually relented: "Fine, it was kind of funny. And..." Vince hesitated, unwilling to admit it, "...I also sleeved up to the Field of Ruin for an EDH deck," he reluctantly whispered.

"You did?" Tomer practically cackled. "Oh, you really did, didn't you? And you're even ramping half your opponents in the process. This is too good to be true." He then paused, likely thinking of how he could blackmail Vince. "Do you think I could record you saying that again?" 

"Round 3 Feature Match Contestants, please report to the feature match area now," A crackling voice boomed over the speakers. 

"Oh!" Tomer turned in surprise, nearly dropping his remaining biscuit, which was somehow still not on the floor despite the punching-bag session. "That's my cue to head off." He gave Vince a quick pat on the shoulder before hurriedly scrambling off. "See you later Vince! Don't forget to get me more biscuits!"

"That smug bastard," Vince silently thought as he crumpled his wrapper into the bin. "So full of himself."

...

"I can't believe that you did that, you utter knockface!" Tomer practically shouted at Vince as they navigated the now deserted corridors of the convention hall, his voice bouncing off the walls. "We were allies! We had a deal!"

"And if I had kept my deal with you, I would have lost in spectacular fashion." Vince simply shrugged as the shambles of the exhausted coverage team slowly walked towards the entrance, all of them exhausted after EDH games filled with laughter, but mostly accusatory shouting. "Technically you broke off our deal when you decided to wheel two turns earlier, and made me discard my half my win-cons."

"Hey, first off, you should be running way more win-cons. Second, I had only lands in hand. What did you expect me to do, just sit there twiddling my thumbs while all of you guys played spells?"

"Yes, obviously," Vince replied as if that was blatantly obvious. "That what you should do when you're allied with someone."

"No, that's clearly not..." Tomer sighed as if exhausted by the mere thought of Vince's bizarre logic. "And you're one to talk about breaking the contract: you blew up all of my mana rocks and sent me back to the Stone Age back on Turn 10."

"See? That's why you should have kept those lands." Vince shrugged. 

"Of which I can only play 1 a turn. I'm in blue-red; do I look as if I have any ways to play extra lands?" Tomer shot back.

"You tell me; you've had significantly more experience with EDH than I have. Or maybe you just don't know how to build a good deck. Besides, green draws more cards than blue." Vince replied with a hint of smugness, amplified when he saw the look of pure disbelief on Tomer's face.

"Hey, this advice coming from someone who put Peace of Mind into an EDH deck."

"Look, you're lucky that I even agreed to form a temporary alliance against my better judgment with a flip-flopper like you. No one in their right mind should ever team up with a Niv-Mizzet player."

Tomer fumed, his voice rising in pitch for the third time this conversation alone. "You were playing a Mono-White Stax deck. No one in their right mind should have teamed up with you!" 

"Mono White Death and Taxes is completely on brand as a deck. I don't see what the issue is here."

"The entire premise of your deck is to make everybody around you completely miserable," Tomer rebutted. "How you managed to berate and harass me into begrudgingly teaming up with you, I have no idea."

"Maybe you just felt bad from all the times you betrayed me on Commander Clash, just like you did this game!" Vince remarked triumphantly. 

"Do you guys always argue this much after a game?" Denis quipped from behind them. "Cause this is really...

"Yes." They simultaneously replied, shooting quick, narrowed glances at each other. 

"And how long does this last?" Denis added with a sigh. 

"Whenever Vince can admit that I'm right." "When Tomer finally understands that I was correct." Then they both paused before staring at each other, stopping in the middle of the walkway, each positioned in a combative stance. 

"...please don't spend too long arguing over this; no one cares, and we've all got a long work day tomorrow." James sighed, his metaphorical head in his hands at the sight of these two grown men bickering like little children. Having seen the rave responses for both Vince's interviews and Tomer's articles and social media posts, it was hard to reconcile their professional conduct and impeccable coverage with the two buffons in front of him right now. "All us adults are going to go get some food and then head back. Just...don't get into too much trouble."

...

"So this is your room?" Vince noted as Tomer slowly eased open the door, their steps still a little uneven from the wide selection of beers that they had downed a few moments earlier. 

"Yeah..." Tomer responded, glancing over at the king-sized bed laying in the middle of the room, his mind still swimming in a daze. "It turns out that there weren't any single rooms left in the hotel because of how last minute it was, so...here we are."

"So I guess you have extra space for, I dunno, an extra guest tonight?" Vince replied, his eyebrows immediately perking up but his tone remaining nonchalant as he leaned against the wall. "Since this hypothetical guest clearly isn't any shape to make it back home tonight." 

"Well, I guess what the guest plans to do tonight. No one likes a bore. How would the guest make it worth my while? Particularly if the guest is an annoying twit?" Tomer perked up similarly, the faint smile on his face and the inviting glint in his eyes, daring Vince to say what's on his mind. 

Wordlessly, Vince dragged Tomer by his hand to the foot of the bed before shoving him onto it - hard. Quickly flicking off his sneakers sending them tumbling to the floor, Vince then pounced on the bed on top of Tomer, their faces now just inches apart, Vince's sly grin neatly juxtaposed against Tomer's surprised expression as he loomed over. "Well, I'm sure that we could find something to occupy us with. " Vince stroked a lone finger down Tomer's cheek, causing him to shudder. "Plenty, in fact." 

"Are you sure that we should do this?" Tomer interrupted, a slight tremor in his voice. "We're a little tipsy right now, and I don't want to do anything that either of us might regret..."

Vince dove in a firm kiss, insistently pressing his lips against Tomer and promptly cutting him off. For a while, they lay there, letting their tongues and mouths explore the other person, before finally breaking apart, leaving them both panting and gasping. "Does that answer your question, Tomer?" 

"Did you..."

"One step ahead of you," Vince noted, pulling out a bottle of lube and a wrapped condom from his pocket. "Let's just say I couldn't wait any longer." Vince then proceeds to slip his hand under Tomer's shirt trace his hand down his side, the tips of his fingers gently grazing against Tomer's skin before resting on his front. "And I don't think you could either.

"Just shut up and do it already, you bastard," Tomer interrupted, cupping both sides of Vince's head and pulling the two of them together for yet another passionate kiss.

...

"I'm so sorry we're late!" Tomer exclaimed as he and Vince rushed into the holding space behind the feature match area, nearly tripping over some wires in the process. Tomer's hair was wild and tousled, and his sling bag was dangerously swinging from side to side, flying precariously close to some laptops. "Someone decided that it'd be funny to put some melted chocolate bars in my shoes before we left, which set us back about half an hour while I tried to wash it off my socks and feet," Tomer turned his head to try and send a glare Vince's way.

"Hey," Vince shrugged. "I did promise that I would shit in your shoes. Just be thankful it was just chocolate and not actual shit," to which Tomer fiercely grimaced in disgust. 

"Why would you even want to defecate in my shoes anyway?" Tomer wondered aloud, a dismayed resignation in his voice. 

"I didn't have a handheld mirror with me, but you should have seen the look on your face when you stepped into all that squidgy chocolate. It was absolutely priceless. Incredible. Well worth the trouble." 

"You're so lucky I brought an extra pair of shoes with me. If that chocolate ruins my shoes I'm absolutely sending you the bill for them," Tomer huffed indignantly.

"Vince, are you ok?" Tim interjected, largely to stop the two of them bickering. "You didn't make it back to the room last night. I'm guessing that's how you managed to put chocolate in Tomer's shoes this morning," Vince's sly grin confirming that was exactly what happened.

"After we split up, we went and got some drinks. Tomer's room was just closer and had space, so I just spent the night there. Plus, it meant that I could pull off my brilliant scheme earlier this morning," eliciting an exasperated eye-roll from Tomer adjacent to him. 

"And this was worth both of you arriving egregiously late for set-up this morning?" Denis added dubiously.

"Without a doubt," Vince proclaimed proudly, causing the rest of the coverage team to internally face-palm. 

"Tomer, are you okay as well?" James noted as well. "You seem to be walking particularly stiffly today. " 

Tomer froze for a moment, surreptitiously glancing over at Vince before hurriedly replying, "Actually, last night we got so drunk that I just tripped over myself in the corridor, you know, ridiculous clumsy klutz like me, don't even really know how that happened. Vince had to haul me back to my room." Tomer noted, internally kicking himself for his relentless babbling. "It still hurts to walk, you know." 

"Do I want to know why you got that drunk knowing that you'd have to wake up extremely early the next day to work? And that if you are going to get drunk, you should have at least try and show up looking professional?" James noted, glancing over Tomer's 'just-got-hit-by-a-tornado' outfit. At least Tomer had the decency to look embarrassed. "Although I'm sure this is at least partially, if not wholly, Vince's fault," prompting an indignant 'Hey!' from the aforementioned Brit. 

"At least you didn't fare as bad as Vince; it looks like he got some really bad rashes," Denis noted, pointing to the bright-reddish marks across Vince's neck and arms. "Although they sure are kind of small..." Suddenly he paused, looked at the marks again, and then quickly swivelled between Tomer and Vince, who were doing their best to appear as relaxed and not at all suspicious, both of them surreptitiously glancing off towards the baked goods. "You didn't!", unable to hide the incredulousness bursting forward from his voice, his eyes wide open in surprise. "You can't possibly have." 

James, watching closely with a more reserved reaction, cautiously began to ask, "Vince? Tomer?" 

"Yes?" Tomer responded, face trying to maintain a neutral expression whilst Vince merely lifted up an eyebrow, daring James to ask the question on his mind. 

"Did...you two...sleep together...last night?" he said, carefully enunciating each word with a grimace as if they were mouldy sandwiches. 

"Sure did!" Vince interjected cheerily, causing Tomer to abruptly swivel and stare at him, wide-eyed in disbelief. "In fact, we barely got sleep last night. I just kept ploughing and ploughing Tomer into the bed over and over again. You'd be surprised at how much stamina such a skinny guy has; would never expect it from his frame." At this point, Tomer squatted to the ground and covered up his ears in sheer mortification, trying to block any further mentions of his sex life. "And very enthusiastic too: I think we may have kept our neighbours up all night. You could probably hear his incredibly loud shrieks all the way down in the lobby. Plus, the lube that we used? Actually quite delicious, judging from how much I licked..." 

"Okay." Tim proceeded to cut him off before Vince could describe his previous night in further exacting and explicit detail. "I think what we can all agree here is that regardless of what Tomer and Vince do in their spare time, and as interesting and as scandalous this may be to delve deep into over dinner, they are both consummate professionals and will not do anything ridiculous or silly whilst working. Right?" Tim cocked his head and gave Vince a sideways stare, to which he ever so slightly nodded in response. 

"Right," Vince said, mischievously winking back whilst Tomer still squatted hunched over the ground. 

"Vince," James said sharply. "Tomer doesn't seem like the type of person to do anything unsavoury in public, but please don't have sex with your new boy-toy in the bathroom during the lunch hour. There are many busy Magic players who need to focus on their games, and don't need to be distracted by high pitched moans, pants or squeals from the neighbouring toilet stall, yours or his." 

"This is my life now, this is my life..." Tomer muttered to himself towards the floor, still too mortified to look up. 

...

On Monday morning, both Vince and Tomer stood facing each other next to one of the shops beside the immigration gates of Heathrow Airport's International Terminal, each of them wheeling 

"So, I guess we both need to go now," Vince initiated, his voice shy and reserved for once, his cocksure attitude and bravado relinquished to properly bid farewell to his partner.

"Yeah..." Tomer responded, staring into Vince's despondent expression. "Don't look so upset; you're going to GP Vegas, aren't you?" 

"Yeah, but..." Vince mumbled back, "I won't be able to see you for more than a month. A whole month." 

"That's when we were supposed to initially meet up!" Tomer exclaimed. "Aren't you glad that we got to meet up earlier?" 

"Of course I am, you git." Vince snapped off in response. "But now that I've gotten to meet you in person, and feel you in person," to which Tomer turned bright red, "I don't want to spent a single moment away from you."

"We will still be able to video call as often as we want. You know you never tire of my witty charm and unbelievably funny jokes," Tomer smiled, his hand caressing Vince's left arm as he reassured him. 

"But think of all the hot, noisy sex that we could have been having if we were together," Vince replied, a faint smile across his face. 

"Now that's the Vince I know," Tomer said, gently cupping the side of Vince's cheek for leaning in for a soft, fleeting kiss, Vince's facial hair just ever so brushing past him, leaving a tingling afterthought as they pulled apart. "I'm going to miss you." 

"I'm going to miss you too. Now hurry up, you need to go board. Don't forget to message me once you touch down." Tomer headed off with a friendly wink, and Vince waved to him past the glass screens, continuously waving until Tomer could no longer be seen. Who knew that the random Canadian bloke that he encountered not even a year ago would become such an irreplaceable part of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you all enjoyed that little dose of verbal fencing between the two of them, now that Vince is off the regular cast of Commander Clash. And if either of them ever read this, may they have as many awkward giggles as I did writing this.
> 
> EDIT: Was mildly surprised seeing this in my feed this morning after Tomer's retweeted the link from James. I hope that your reaction to this was also in line with what I had intended (laughing, crying, vomiting, horrified and/or generally confused)


End file.
